Upside Out, Inside Down..

 so not much going on in my tiny existance. lately i have been doin alot of thinking. i've gotten updates on a few ex's and honestly it does pain me that things are going well for them and thier lives are fallin into place. why do assholes get to come out on top. i am happy with the guy im datin now and im happy with my life in general i just wish that for once i can be the winner ya know come out better first. plus i have suffered so much bc of some ex's and i just dont think its fair that they never had to suffer. thye never lived the heartache that i was put through. it just sucks thats all.

in happier news, my nephew is walkin and talkin alot. i love my job the kids are so great and i get paid well. also im datin a great guy. the only thing is he is younger then me which is weird for me but he is so great. im living my life and i love vegas! i miss all of my friends though. i check profiles as often as i can just to keep up with all of their crazy lives lol.

somthing else recently got added to my list of things to think about, why are some ppl in the world givin everything? at first i thought this might only apply to the rich and famous. but no, its going on right in my own family! i work for everything i have. yeah it may not be much but i try not to run to my family for everything. i just thik that its wrong that i have always worked my ass off and it kills me when i get asked for money for someone who doesnt even try to better their situation. why should i have to lend money just bc i have it? am i being wrong? i know i should want to help family but honestly when does the help stop?

~L

So not much going on in the life of me. Except for the fact that im still workin and im still livin wit mom.. not my idea of the good life. Anywho, christmas was alright. Dad didnt give me the reaction i was hopin for. Ah well i'll be back in may. So i didnt get to see eveyone that i had hoped it was kinda a bummer. Well i'm bord wit nothin good to say. Miss you all and i miss texas/oklahoma. Adios mi amigos.

L

Update!

Is this really my life?

Life here is going surprisingly well. Im happy for the first time in a long time. I have a great new man and he is my world. Suddenly everything i have ever prayed for is comming to life. I really cant believe that this is my life. Often times i feel like im watching a romantic comedy and i love the fact that my life is finally the movie i wanted it to be. I realise now that everything leading up to this moment was what i pushed for not what God intended. He was telling me to wait and i was being a kid throwing a tantrum in the candy isle. Its funny how clearly we see things when life goes the way God wants it too and not the way we think it should go. All in all Vegas is beautiful and so far so good. I do miss all of you though and i had a good cry about it yesturday. Best part about it was that i didnt have to cry alone, the awsome man in my life lent me his shoulder. Im so happy to be where i am. I love you all!

L